Facing my fear.
Today I decided to open up my life to help others who frequently experience bouts of fear. Some childhood incidents that I now know to be childhood traumas planted seeds of fear into my consciousness. As children, we often can't distinguish the difference between real and perceived dangers. As I matured, I became keenly aware of these spiritual attacks of fear. I have been attacked when fully awake and in my sleep. Not scary dreams that wake you up at night but actual spiritual attacks designed to take my life. By now, you are probably wondering, hmm, what's up with her? So here are some experiences to share--I hope that rather than judging, you will be open to learning.
In the late 1990s, I purchased a book called Uprooting the Spirit of Fear. While reading the book on a beautiful summer day, with rays of sunshine entering through the window, I sat on the edge of my bed, and felt the presence of fear as it crept into my room. This day marked a defining moment as I learned how to battle against the spirit of fear. Hopefully, I will never forget the moment I stood up, turned to face this controlling invisible presence. What happened next was totally not of my own doing. When I opened my mouth, scriptures that I didn't know flowed out rapidly. I could barely take in a breath to breathe. As I spoke these scriptures as if I were an auctioneer, I could feel the force of them release from the pit of my belly. I felt the presence of warfare, and I knew I was in a battle. After this experience, I was utterly drained and returned back to my bed to rest. Here's another: After learning that my ex-husband had been cheating most of our marriage, (which is another story for another time)I checked into a hotel on New Year's Eve. After taking a hot bubble bath, I settled down with a bottle of wine; I called my BFFs to let them know everything was fine and that I was okay.
I had everything set up for a cozy evening of "me time." Candles lit, a glass of wine,waiting for the ball to drop in Times Square...then the presence of God entered the suite. To make a long story short, I was prompted to turn off all the lights and blow out the candles. Resistant? Yes! – now I'm in an unfamiliar place with no lights. Scared? Yes! Continuing to listen to my spirit, I walked through the hallway to reach the other side of the suite. Experiencing an intense level of anxiety, I turned around and walked back into the living room, feeling my way. I repeated this several times in the dark, and as my eyes began to adjust, this dark space became familiar. This experience taught me that fear is a space of unfamiliarity and once you face it and get to know it – the perceived power it has over you diminishes. Yes, fear still visits me occasionally, but now I know immediately what it is and how to deal with it.
Last week I traveled to Tennessee, and as I always do, before traveling to my location, I searched for things to do. In Gatlinburg, there is a suspension bridge https://www.gatlinburgskylift.com/video-and-photos as long as two football fields(680 ft), and the walking platform becomes window panes in the middle of the bridge, so you see the ground below your feet. For some inexplicable reason, I felt crossing this bridge was an opportunity to remind fear who was in charge, particularly since I have a "fear" of heights. Well, to make a long story short, I procrastinated until the last day of the trip to take the challenge. I didn't sleep well the night before because of all the vivid images in my head and negative self-talk. Characteristics of "fear." People call Fear - False Evidence Appearing Real. I can understand that thought-process. Fear can make you think that the very thing you are fearful of is bigger than what it really is.
The following morning, I again procrastinated by pretending to look for coupons before buying my ticket. Finally, it was time. Shortness of breath and beads of sweat pooled on my forehead. No, this was not a hot flash--it was fear creeping in. My first challenge was riding the sky lift up to the sky bridge. Once I was at the top and saw the bridge, I immediately said, "I can't do this." My support person grabbed my hand and said, "yes, you can." So I took my first step into an unfamiliar space. I’m glad I had on my big girl panties to defeat this challenge because once you walk over the bridge, you also have to walk back. It's not a one–way trip. On the walk back, the bridge bounced and swayed more because more people were walking it. I even stopped and looked through the window panels at the forest below my feet. I remembered my earlier life lesson, reminded myself that this is an unfamiliar space, and I continued to walk just as I did on New Year's Eve. I was so proud of myself when my feet were on stable ground. I pray never to forget this accomplishment, and I look onward to live my life to the fullest even when fear visits. I'm sure I’ll write about fear again particularly as it relates to faith and death.
My services are available to you if you need help dealing with the emotion of fear. #DoulabyDestiny
I hope my experiences encourage and empower you to live your life to the fullest and take on your challenges of fear. Fear is not as big as you think it’s just an unfamiliar space.
Please share and comment. Peace and Blessings to you!
Commentaires